That “one day”

You left me with so many regrets
That “one day” we’ve always dreamed of
If only if only if only~

If only there’s a way we could turn back time
I wanna go back to when you lulls me to sleep
and I would hug you so tight
and love you right

r i g h t.


Time has passed,
Like the smoke particles in the air,
Chaotic silence and grief,
A demanding wish to spend more nights with her,
And the memories of regrets that ripped me apart.

Nothing to stare, pure sadness and empty rooms,
My eyes transfixed to an unknown distant,
An endless void, making me so dizzy.


and i always act nonchalant
like it doesn’t bother me if you wake up one day and decide
that you don’t want to love me anymore
that i, too, can decide to walk away and start over
but deep down my timid heart whispers:
please fight for me,
please stay.


I wish
I could be disappear somehow
But I’m a little scared
’cause maybe
they don’t even realize
no, they won’t realize
’cause I’m just a paper flower that fades
blew by the wind
and the one that’s not real

“Will they looking for me?
Will they beg me to come home?
Will I be missed?”
And all these negativity in my mind
keep whispering
all the “no” answers


They said “Be yourself” “Don’t fake”
But apparently
When you show the real side of you
They judged

They said “Just share” “Share with us”
But apparently
When you share all your anxiety
They judged

So, let’s just write
pour all your emotions here, or on paper
’cause at least
paper won’t judge

and instead of judges
all you get was a memory
a memory that you’ve been so strong
through all of these


you left with an apology
said you couldn’t live up to my fantasies
the sappy love story i’d always dreamed of.

but had you lingered a little longer you would know
i wasn’t looking for a love that is of honeydew and roses
or a chaotic one filled with passion and angst
i was never, in fact, looking for any particular kind of love.

my whole life
i had simply been looking for