my favorite song.

you used to be my favorite song,
that happy song i listened to every day and night
the song i used for my ringtones
that vibrates my heart everytime it rings

but slowly things change…

i feel that you’re slowly fading
and that song no longer makes me happy
it makes me sad, instead
because it’s no longer ringing

. . .

Relationship was never been so hard before
but with you, it feels like a rollercoaster
while all i wanted was a stable one
a love that could make me feel safe, warm, and calm.

You were you, and I was me
we laughed, we spent our times together, we exchanged our love
then this world suddenly couldn’t protect you any longer
we couldn’t protect our love any longer.

Taylor Swift — Red

Lyrics:

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street
Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind
Once you’re already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it all

Losing him was blue, like I’d never known
Missing him was dark gray, all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know
Somebody you never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was red

Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted
Was right there in front of you
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words
To your old favorite song
Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword
And realizing there’s no right answer
Regretting him was like wishing you never found out
That love could be that strong

Losing him was blue, like I’d never known
Missing him was dark gray, all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know
Somebody you never met
But loving him was red
Oh, red
Burning red

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes
Tell myself it’s time now gotta let go
But moving on from him is impossible
When I still see it all in my head
In burning red
Burning, it was red

Oh, losing him was blue, like I’d never known
Missing him was dark gray, all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know
Somebody you never met
‘Cause loving him was red
Yeah, yeah, red
Burning red

And that’s why he’s spinning ’round in my head
Comes back to me, burning red
Yeah, yeah..

His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street . . . . .

Regrets

Time has passed,
Like the smoke particles in the air,
Chaotic silence and grief,
A demanding wish to spend more nights with her,
And the memories of regrets that ripped me apart.

Nothing to stare, pure sadness and empty rooms,
My eyes transfixed to an unknown distant,
An endless void, making me so dizzy.

Numb

Aug 2, 2020 – 3:42 PM

I hope I could spend more days with her
Hold her hands, hear her laughter
The last time (July 31) she saw me, she said
“How many childrens did you have?”
“Five.” I answered.
“Huh?” She confused.

I’ve never been so desperate
to feel like every second is sooo important
I can’t feel any tiredness
Everything feels so numb